The big question haunting obama campaign headquarters these days is, “Is there enough kool aid in the world to keep our troops believing and fighting for us?” Winston Churchill famously said that “rum, sodomy, and the lash” were responsible for the success of the British Navy. There may not be any sodomy or corporal punishment on Obama’s Ship of Fools (oh pipe down about Larry Sinclair, ya swabbies!), but whoo-hee! that Kool Aide is some powerful juice! It eats your brain and forces you to repeat the same phrases over and over again: Barack, Barack, Barack. O-Ba-Ma, O-Ba-Ma. Man! It’s weird. And what’s with all his supporters referring to him by his first name? It’s like they think he knows who they are. Snap out of it! Barack has no freaking clue who you are. He does not care! Wake up! It’s really kind of creepy. The effects of this Demon Kool Aide also include an irresistable desire to attack women. It’s weird really. Drink enough of the red juice and Blam! Your latent bullying instincts suddenly take over your brain and your will. Five minutes before you were a mild-mannered cubicle jockey splitting your time between wondering how a schmuck like you was ever going to get a piece of the late stage hyper-capitalist ACTION and checking out free porn sites on the internet while playing WoW with all your online buddies, and then BOOM! You suddenly find yourself writing emails like this to people you don’t know:

You guys are a f*cking joke. You pretend to be Democrats, but you’re really Republicans. You’re not fooling anyone. Not really. A real Dem, or real Independent who has a brain, would not want a man who’s supported Bush 90% of the time for these past 8 years, and been a cheerleader for the unnecessary war in Iraq. That would be McCain, in case your possible Alzheimer’s brain needed reminding. So go ahead and vote for McCain. Let’s have at least another 5-10 years of war in Iraq, an unsupported war against the Taliban and Al Queda in Afghanistan, a f*cked up economy for another 4-8 years. Why not? You’re rich, you PUMAs, so you don’t care, you’re not hurting financially. No one who’s really hurting financially is supporting McCain. Yeah, the economy has been entirely stagnant for the past 8 years. Let’s keep that up. Too bad you people don’t have any brains. If you don’t live in the still-backwards South, where the education of the American citizens is STILL the lowest in the country, I’m sure they’d welcome you there.

Or you click from “Hot Teen Chicks Delivered Straight to Your Door” to this IBD/TIPP Poll showing that O-Ba-MA has lost his lead over McCain and the race is now statistically tied with fully 11% of respondents still undecided (in the primaries, undecideds broke for Clinton 4 to 1 and 5 to 1). Also this year pollers are experiencing an 80% hang-up rate. In normal years the hang-up rate is around 40%. And to really get you boys, um deflated, there is also the news that even though O-Ba-MA spent millions on ACORN and other efforts to increase voter registration this year, so far polls are showing that the number of new voters casting votes for the first time is the same as it always is, around 13%. Yikes. Now that’s pretty emasculating. Kinda makes you want to do something like THIS. Or THIS. Not us though. We Pumas have always been repulsed by campaign violence, cheating, and intimidation. We saw enough of it first hand in Nevada and Iowa and Texas during the primaries. We were hounded from enough political blogs and online sites to realize we REALLY don’t like it when violent, bullying, cheating elements take over a campaign. In fact, that’s EXACTLY why we started the Puma Movement in the first place. To challege people like you. Pumas, there are 11 days left. Don’t give up and don’t give in. Here’s a suggestion I received in email this morning for something anyone can do. Get involved. You’re an American citizen. Act like one.

Video the Vote 2008Video the Vote is a national initiative to protect voting rights by monitoring the electoral process. We organize citizen journalists—ordinary folks like you and me—to document election problems as they occur. And then we distribute their footage to the mainstream media and online to make sure the full story of Election Day gets told. Watch our 2006 highlights and join us as we Video the Vote this November. http://www.videothevote.org/ Another suggesion to contact your local/county campaign headquarters, and sign up to be a poll watcher! They may assign you to your own precinct or assign you to one that doesn’t already have a watcher. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!! WE MUST COVER ALL OF OUR PRECINCTS/DRISTRICTS!